Last year at this time, I was blogging about "writing your story" and "changing perception" and so on. Well, I must have taken my own advice because as it turned out, I am in a whole new story. I hardly recognize myself.
It must have something to do with turning 50.
I have more activity in my life than I ever have before. Last year at this time, I was in overwhelm. I had 50% less work to do, and I was failing to keep up. And I was failing to look after myself. No time for that.
Now? Well now...I just smile and get on with it. And I have learned to take those small moments in between all that crazy activity and focus, in a concentrated way on myself.
Two weeks ago in the midst of total chaos, and obstacles springing up, and Mike being bad tempered about something or other, I sat serenely on my sofa having just eaten some breakfast. It was just 5 small minutes. I sat there and went deeply into my core. Eyes open, but my focus turned inward. My husband Mike suddenly seemed to notice me, and asked what I was doing. My answer was this. "I'm digesting my toast".
The reason that was significant to me, was that I was focused on myself, rather than the craziness all around me. And in that moment, I realized--This is powerful magic.
So today when I decided to stay off the computer until the afternoon, and do my book binding in the morning, rather than the afternoon, when the light is fading...and I found myself, as usual putting out fires, and fixing problems and not getting down to what I thought was the real priority of the day, which was --Hello! Binding some BOOKS-- I found myself at 1:45 pm saying to my household at large, that I needed some down time.
Just 15 little minutes was all it took, of going deep, deep, deep into my center. In that place where the powerful magic happens. Where one is revitalized. Where inspiration bubbles up from the cosmic spring.
When I came out of that, everything had changed. Peace reigned in my house. I got to work immediately on 3 bindings. Mike made dinner, which was ready just as I was putting things away.
I used to think I needed all this time, that wasn't available. I used to dash around from one activity to the next trying to get everything done, and getting very little finished. And I never, NEVER had time for myself. Not even to eat, sometimes.
Something around that perception has shifted and I no longer view my life in that way. I had so very little to do, and couldn't get it done. Now I have twice as much to do or more, and every day I smile to myself at the end of the day and think--Well my girl, you didn't get it all done, but you sure got a helluva lot of it done. And I can sleep secure in the knowledge that I can work on it again tomorrow. Some things I will finish, and some will be finished the next day. But the point is--now they are actually getting finished.
And now I am actually taking care of me. And I want to say this about the amount of time it takes to care for oneself...Time is a very flexible thing. You can actually play with time. And you do it by going very deeply into your core.
In 10 to 15 minutes time, you can notice how you're doing, what you're feeling, if you're thirsty or tired...You can listen to what your body is telling you. You can gain wisdom from that. You can rest deeply. You can get inspiration. You can change your perception.
In this deep state, 10 to 15 minutes becomes eternity. And when you come back to ordinary consciousness, time is now your friend. It slows down and waits for you to walk with it, rather than running on ahead leaving you breathless. It stands still for you, if you want to stop and smell the roses, or throw a ball for your dog, or have a cup of tea. It will miraculously wait for you to catch up. Moment after moment after moment when you are more fully Present.
Relationship Status: Rita T. is in a relationship with Time. <3