"Never saw the sun shining so bright
Never saw things going oh so right
Noticing the days hurrying by
When you're in love-my how they fly."
--Irving Berlin
I guess I have the Springtime Blueskies.
I chose the picture above to represent spring. But what I see is a nest full of eggs with no bird sitting on it. No one to warm it and tend it.
Have I abandoned my nest of dreams? Have I left them to fend for themselves, just sort of hoping that maybe someone else will foster them for me?
The Blueskies aren't really about that...they're about feeling alone. They're about a feeling of disconnect and isolation.
All winter I was sick and just wanted to stay warm and buttoned up. Incubating in my little nest. But I was too busy to tend to that instinct. I think that's why I remained ill for so long.
Now, I feel the stirring energy of Spring. I want to seek out my own kindred. I feel the need to seek out fellowship, and I find that so many of my friendships did not survive the winter. Some have literally died and transitioned from this planet. Some have moved away to other lands and other lives.
I find myself waking in Spring to a very changed landscape. I do not recognize the terrain. My tribe has disbanded and migrated away.
With such an empty outer landscape, I am forced to turn my attention to my inner landscape. I look at my cave and see the debris accumulated from the past few years. I sigh to myself. I guess it's time to release it all.
I sit around my campfire and mourn my losses. And now I see a new figure has joined me, drawn by my sorrowing. It is startling to see La Calavera, Santa Muerte, Godmother Death, sitting here with me in Springtime. I am confused, but she seems a very comforting friend at the moment in the absence of the others.
She reminds me that I am not alone. And when I dry my tears, I see that there are others still here with me. I could not see what was left, because my focus was on my bewildering losses.
She whispers to my heart that her real name is Change, or Transition. She makes life possible by birthing things from one form to another. The seed could not emerge, if the seed cover did not disintegrate. The bird could not emerge from the shell, unless the shell broke apart--the egg which is a living organism, dies to make way for the bird. The living skin of the snake dies and is discarded to create room for the snake to expand.
Death creates room for expansion. On an energetic level, she rearranges energies so that old relationships may be free to disengage from one another to form new relationships and patterns.
She comforts me with the sharing of this wisdom. She reminds me that I am a very young old-woman. We speak with the Heart, the Love language of potentials and possibilities.
I feel warmed by her, and I find myself laughing and feeling light of heart. She is very loving and comforting.
"Come now," she reminds me. "Clean away this debris." Yes, I have accumulated much over the years. It is weighing me down, and clouding my vision.
Thank you Godmother, for your friendship, companionship, and guidance.
When I sat down to write this, my heart was heavy...now I am feeling very Light again. I see the dancing light of Spring all around me.